Home Coming

I don't remember its been how long since my last post. Well its my office firewall which is to be blamed.

2 more days and I'll be home. In a span of 3 months I m visiting home again, that doesn't mean that I have no work. Fact of the matter is I m loaded at this point, but somehow I managed, thanks to my negotiating capabilities. However, the feeling of going home during Durga Puja is unmatched.

Its home coming for Ma as well after 1 year. Durga Puja for a bengali is the mother of all celebrations. Even for the not so religious types, its a must to be with the close ones during Puja. We all plan so much and so well in advance for all the flight reservations, leave planning, shopping so on and so forth.

I had planned few things which changed at the 11th hour. My mistake again, thankfully it was not too late and I was able to make amends to my travel plan. So now I am reaching Ghy on 16th itself thanks to all the connecting flights.

Happy Durga Puja to me and to all.

Back to old days...

After lot of sleepless nights and sufferings...finally I am back to normal (I think). I've started enjoying life and not depressed anymore. They say time is the greatest healer...indeed it is. I dont feel jealous anymore, nor do I have any hatred. I 've accepted it as something which was destined to happen and I am sure He has something planned out for me.

After 8 months I'll be going home. Away from work for 15 days, with my school pals, sutta and cutting chai at Ashoka's. Looking fwd to the much awaited and deserving break from all that I have been through in the recent past.

Though time has helped me in getting over the torrid time and pain...but I still love you and will continue to do so....

Cuts like a knife...but it feels so right

It was an unexpected gift and for a min I couldn't belive that the sms was from the number I am so struggling to forget.

We're together for 2 hours....and I felt like nothing has changed. Same car, same roads, same traffic, the only new thing was the mehendi in your hands with someone's name written on them. I could see the same love in your eyes ..... for me. Your lips still taste the same, your fragrance, yuor touch, the hug, the smile, playing with my mobile, the eye contact --everything was same. You looked happy.

You called and we spoke and I realized, it was an illusion. Though you were with me physically, there was a guilt that you 're cheating on him. You cannot love 2 ppl at the same time and I dont want to create trouble in your life. In 2 weeks from now you'll have no feelings for me. Physical intimacy helps in developing strong bonds and its just a matter of time. Its more painful to share you with someone. To know that the girl for whom I was everythign is now sleeping with someone else, laughing at someone's jokes, sharing a light moment, fighting over trivial issues, making faces. If we continue to be in touch it will make life hell for me and even you'll never be able to do justice to me or the most imp man in your life now.

I thought I'll get over you, but after sat it was difficuilt. U got married to someone and I know for sure that it was your decision. Be happy with it and have a good life. I'll never go to your city...I have no reason to now.

Plz dont keep Kabir and Adi as names for your children. Those names are part of our relationship and so plz dnt make them part of your relationship with Sharad. Though I've deleted all your msgs but cudn't delete the pics. let them be with me as momento of our last date in Delhi.

I still wonder what did I do to get this treatment....hope someday I'll find the answer. Thinking of going home for a week or so. Spend time with ma and get on with life.

I forgive you and wish nothing but happiness for you...I'll never curse u.

Still in love with you....

The Red Letter Day...

Ya indeed, it is the "Red Letter Day" for both you and me.
Finally the day has arrived when officially you will be gone. The feeling that we are not together any more as a couple has started to sink in. I was not sure if I would be able to handle this day...but I guess I can and I am ready for it.
We r two completely different individual and the only way to console myself is to believe that we will be much better off with different ppl.
On this auspicious day, I wish both you and me happiness and a great life ahead seperately. The next time we meet, I want to see you happy and content and wish the same for me.

The pact is on as of now....however, I know there will be a change of heart from your side.